Worrying is necessary. Every group needs someone who knows how to worry, someone prone to anxiety who tends to experience life as if its continually undecided, on the verge of veering off-track (or worse). Avoidance – that too. All groups need somebody who’s a studied avoider.

Worriers and avoiders have to be valued (they need it) and … then they tend to worry less and stay involved. If they aren’t they tend to become frantically anxious or go missing.Ignore these people at your peril. Dismiss their worries or their second thoughts and watch as a crisis unfolds.

Life is about discovering how to live together. Attachment theory avoids this.