by Tom Tomaszewski | Jan 30, 2025 | ALIENATION, Be Somebody Else, HESITATION
Worrying is necessary. Every group needs someone who knows how to worry, someone prone to anxiety who tends to experience life as if its continually undecided, on the verge of veering off-track (or worse). Avoidance – that too. All groups need somebody who’s a studied avoider.
Worriers and avoiders have to be valued (they need it) and … then they tend to worry less and stay involved. If they aren’t they tend to become frantically anxious or go missing.Ignore these people at your peril. Dismiss their worries or their second thoughts and watch as a crisis unfolds.
Life is about discovering how to live together. Attachment theory avoids this.
by Tom Tomaszewski | Jan 15, 2025 | Be Somebody Else
Awareness needs to be mobile: realisation. Static awareness of a fact is barely helpful and soon becomes unhelpful. Awareness is realised through further moments of realisation. A flowing sense of awareness is a sense of something changing.
by Tom Tomaszewski | Oct 22, 2024 | Be Somebody Else
For some reason ‘gratitude’ has featured a great deal in the conversations people have brought to me. How can you feel it and express it? Twelve-step people will know why that question is so important.
You can’t artificially express gratitude. It seems to naturally occur, like laughter, unless something gets in the way of it. When there’s no gratitude there’s no joy; and when there’s no joy there’s a lack of curiosity … which usually signifies resentment. Look at what’s stopping you from feeling curious rather than try to find gratitude. You won’t find it if it isn’t there!
by Tom Tomaszewski | Oct 4, 2024 | FRUSTRATION, HELPLESSNESS
Try cultivating a sense of anticipation, rather than expectation. If you expect something it’s probably going to be easier to describe. You might have a strong sense of what you think is going to happen, where, when and so on. Anticipation is a sense of remaining open, ready to act and staying involved. Anticipate better and you’ll be a lot happier.
by Tom Tomaszewski | Sep 25, 2024 | Be Somebody Else
If you grow up around someone autistic you may find yourself being described as, or invited to think about yourself as autistic. Maybe you are. Perhaps, in the way you do life there are the signs, like footprints in the sand, of how you grew used to living with autism. We internalise the world, always attempting to make it our own.
