MONOTONY / SEEKING

Every event in your life, that is every moment of your life, will feel significant or insignificant. The ones that feel insignificant are the ones you are unlikely to notice, and vice versa. You have very little control over which events you regard as significant or insignificant: it’s an instinctual thing.  Notice that we are thinking about feeling here, not knowing.

If you think about your life in terms of momentum you can change this relationship. New things can become significant. Events will seem more or less important than they used to. Life will take on different proportions*.

When you emerge from an event let it play out like a film for you, let it really move you like a film does, and see whether that event takes you to other ones in your past. don’t think about it, just get into it like you would a really emotional film.

This happened to me recently when I watched a film called All of Us Strangers. It took me to scenes from my childhood. I didn’t take myself to them, I just found myself there, in memories.  In my memories I saw myself doing things in ways that I have often done throughout my life. Most of these I was aware of, but watching that film at that time allowed me to notice something new. Freud writes about this effect all of the time.

I noticed a way in which I tolerate things and could see how that way of doing life had been necessary, and often will be in the future (a lot of the time it’s a great asset), but that now I need to do some things differently. My life now demands it.

That felt super-intense. My momentum changed. Going with this my life may have a different trajectory, hopefully one best for me and those close to me.

Try it. Find a good film and let it move you. Don’t ask what the film means. That’s like saying you want it to explain itself … and its a film. Just let it do its thing and affect you. Go with the effect. Go with the affect. If you want to know why then that will most likely occur to you later