The Art of Becoming Unstuck

ALIENATION / PLAY

People talk about feeling part of a group. If you feel inclined towards to ALIENATION you will still feel this ‘groupishness’ (a hard to describe combination of unity, solidity, possibility and protection), but probably in relation to a select group of one. Yourself. You may believe that you can do the ‘team player’ thing but I imagine that, on reflection, you might acknowledge that you never properly feel part of a group.

To begin to resolve this, without losing the special, clear sense of yourself that you already have practice stopping interpreting.

Pick any situation and when the part of your mind that starts to suggest to you why someone is doing something, or what they are doing means or symbolises, STOP.

Yes, STOP IT.

Lose yourself in the process of what another person is doing. Recognise how this affects you. If you really have to say anything at all maybe draw that person’s attention to what they are doing. If, for instance, you believe they may not be aware that they are doing something: ‘oh, you’ve got your wellingtons on’ (and it is sunny) … or ‘that was quite loud’ (when someone speaks with more volume than a situation seems to demand, ie in a cinema during a boring bit), or ‘you’ve got your arms folded’ (when a large adult is standing in front of a timid child and looking very defensive). That sort of thing.

You will be surprised how this way of being with someone, bracketing or setting aside your thoughts and allowing theirs to come to light while you somehow keep a beat going (like the rhythm players in a band) do, protecting ‘the beat’ of your time together (a way of thinking about life’s rhythm, perhaps), will allow you to feel connected.

You will be more connected to someone else instead of to your own internal sense of life with all of its suppositions, predictions and ways of forming conclusions.

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