INEXPERIENCE / FEAR

You may have heard people talk about ‘attachment’, meaning the way you feel a solid connection to someone or something in the early years of your life and how this affects your relationships as you grow older. People with attachment problems often hesitate (see the posts about HESITATION).

What about your connection to the future? All of the drives are involved in trying to ferry you, in as good a state as possible, to tomorrow. Let’s look at your FEAR drive for a moment, though. INEXPERIENCE troubles you if your responses to your FEAR drive have been difficult. Part of managing how to safely do things, to assess risks, for example, engages with how present you can feel right now – and in the future. Discovering how to find a sense of safety that isn’t also likely to limit you (hiding all of the time, for instance) will leave you with a sense of direction.

You will find yourself sticking to arrangements that you make, and plans that you draw up for yourself because you know that a certain degree of selfishness is essential if you are to be of any use to anyone apart from yourself. This way the future happens best. Not as a fantasy that avoids difficulty or the truth but as a movement resilient enough and fluid enough to give you the best chance of imagining yourself happily doing something in the future.

How can you get this kind of thing going for yourself? Arrange some things  each week just for yourself and stick to them. Talk to other people who do things that you feel you’d like to do. Approach them, whoever they are. My career has been hugely affected by people I have approached like this and who took time to offer me some advice.

Don’t hold back. What have you got to lose, really?