HELPLESSNESS / RAGE

If someone has abused or exploited you it’s likely you’ll have been left with a terrible feeling that you did something wrong. Maybe you think you didn’t listen to something inside yourself, an instinct, a feeling, a thought, that told you what was going on was wrong. Perhaps a friend said something and you ignored it. Maybe up to a point you wanted something.

You didn’t want what happened.

Whoever did this awful thing to you will, from the moment they became aware of you, have done all that they could to tune into any signs that you could have wanted to feel loved, thought special or beautiful.

Who doesn’t? A person, however, who hasn’t been loved enough, securely enough, or who feels there is something wrong with them, will set aside their doubts more easily than someone who rarely doubts how people feel about them.

Abusers bank on this playing a large part in their victims going along with them. More than that, abusers rely on people they abuse being frightened of reporting what has happened to them in case they, themself, are blamed … because that abused person already blames themself. They feel ashamed. It’s a horrendous bind.

Draw your anger out like a sword and cut through it. Search for somebody you can trust, discover how to trust them, and tell that person what has happened. A psychotherapist may be the best person for this.

When you do so you will begin to realise all of the things you have never said out of a fear that people will think badly of you. You will see what your anger can do for you.